


A Light to Guide Me Home

by asphodelknox



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, another little thing, coming out to an unaccepting church, finding your people, like very very very beginning, some issues with the church, sort of the beginning of a relationship, still cute though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:01:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25318750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asphodelknox/pseuds/asphodelknox
Summary: Louis meets Harry through a communication mishap. It's all Liam's fault really. Either way, his future changes with one conversation.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Shawn Mendes, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30
Collections: Prompt 3.4: Sin





	A Light to Guide Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> Just a sweet little story of Harry and Louis meeting. There are subtle notes of Louis getting kicked out of a church after coming out. Take care.
> 
> This is part of a Wordplay prompt challenge for the prompt "sin". To read the amazing fics that were written by the others on this prompt, [click here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/sin), and to see all fics written as part of the challenge (including years 1-3), [click here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/wordplay_fic_challenge/works). You can also find the masterpost for this year’s challenge [here](https://wordplayfics.tumblr.com/post/622306139518926848/wordplay-2020-every-week-for-five-weeks-a-prompt).

_ Louis’s eyes fluttered open and immediately he was disappointed by his surroundings, brown curly hair, and deep green eyes fading back into his dreams.  _

_ White walls, standard wooden university furniture, the cross hung over the door by his aunt. He never had reason to hate its existence -although it made him massively uncomfortable every time he did something he shouldn’t - until now, but after last night… _

_ At the thought of last night, Louis sat up sharply. It was real, right? God, he wanted it to be real; needed it to be real.  _

_ If it was real, it meant his life changed. It meant he’d been wrong all along about what was true about himself. And if he’d been wrong…  _

_ Everything could change.  _

\-----

Louis stepped into the club, still unsure of exactly how or why he’d ended up here. He’d come downtown to do outreach for the church with Liam and Liam had asked if Louis wanted to meet up for dinner with some friends. He hadn’t expected to end up in club… let alone one for gay men. Did those kinds of clubs have specific names? What kind of friends was Liam wanting him to meet? He didn’t even know. 

Louis swallowed hard, his cheeks reddening at the sight of men all across the club in various degrees of propriety. He’d avoided looking at his teammates in the football locker rooms for a reason. This was a highway to hell, a primrose path to sin, labeled in bright lights with Louis’s name all the way down to a fiery pit. He’d heard over and over and over that as a Christian man, he needed to end up with a Christian woman, sexual desire be damned. 

If he stayed here much longer,  _ he _ would be damned. Seriously, how  _ did _ he end up here? 

Through the din and the bright lights, the cacophony of conversation and flirting and song, Liam swung an arm over his shoulders. Liam, the only person who knew Louis’s affliction, who hadn’t even batted an eyelash at Louis’s great confession. Who had even confessed to the same struggle, although Liam had said that it was okay to want to be with men instead of women. Louis still found that hard to believe. 

“Louis,” Liam said seriously, “we don’t have to be here. But before you go marrying some woman you don’t really like without questioning it, I want you to at least meet other men like us. You can marry whoever you want, but don’t do it without all the information.” 

Louis blinked uncomprehendingly at Liam. 

“Men like us?” He said, not sure if he was understanding. Weren’t they just getting dinner?

Liam nodded and steered Louis over to a booth in a quieter section of the club. Four other men were already there (all fully clothed, thank  _ god _ ), and they grinned at Liam and Louis. Louis paused, unsure, but one of the other men, a lanky brunette, scootched over to make room and gestured for Louis to sit down. Liam sat across from Louis, kissing a man - the very definition of tall, dark, and handsome, covered in tattoos - next to him on the cheek. 

“Don’t worry,” the brunette next to Louis said with a slow drawl, “you don’t have to kiss me on the cheek.” The rest of the table chuckled. 

“Not unless you want to,” said the man sitting next to Liam, winking at Louis. 

Louis had no idea how to respond. He opened and closed his mouth, his cheeks reddening in embarrassment, but Liam saved him. 

“Lou, this is Zayn,” he gestured to the man he’d kissed on the cheek. “My partner.” 

Louis tried his hardest to not look surprised. Perhaps, in retrospect, he shouldn’t have been that surprised, but Liam hadn’t mentioned a partner. Louis made a mental note to ask why later. He didn’t want Liam to not trust him. He pushed aside his fleeting curiosity at a future partner of his own to pay attention to Liam.

Liam continued gesturing around the table, making introductions. “And this is Niall, Shawn, and Harry.” 

Niall and Shawn nodded in Harry’s direction and Niall said, “Nice to meet ya!” in such a cheerful way that Louis felt welcomed and his embarrassment start to dissipate. 

Harry, the man next to Louis, stuck out his hand with a grin. Louis shook his hand, trying hard to not dwell on how large Harry’s hands were, how solid he felt. Harry had dimples that showed up in the corners of his grin. Louis found him endlessly endearing.

Louis still felt embarrassed, but less so after everyone’s kind introduction. Maybe Liam was right… maybe knowing more men like himself was a good thing. The other five turned to pay attention to something Niall was saying. 

“Shawnie and I adopted a puppy,” Niall said, showing off photos on his phone of a little Australian Shepherd with green and blue eyes. “We’ve officially up-leveled our relationship.” 

“Ni, we’re married,” Shawn deadpanned as Harry, Liam, and Zayn laughed. “I think we won.” 

Niall shrugged. “We can always improve, love.” Shawn just fondly rolled his eyes and kissed Niall on the temple. 

A waiter came by to ask for dinner orders and Louis ordered the first thing that looked good on the menu, still feeling like a fish out of water. Harry must have noticed; he passed Louis a glass of water. 

“Liam said it’s your first time at a place like this?” Harry asked, offering Louis fries from an appetizer one of the others had ordered after Louis accepted the glass of water. Harry seemed genuinely interested, and kind in a way Louis hadn’t received in a long time. Either that or he just worried about people’s eating and drinking habits with more concern than even Liam.

Louis nodded, still overwhelmed, a bit unsure how to answer, but wanting to keep Harry talking. It was nice to have someone talking to him. It distracted him from the whirling emotions - confusion, curiosity, and, predominantly, a feeling of  _ home _ \- permeating him from his surroundings.

“He didn’t tell you we were meeting in a gay bar, did he?” Harry rolled his eyes at Louis’s nod. 

“Sorry about that,” Harry said, looking apologetic. “Liam had good intentions. He’s worried about you.”

“Worried about me?” Louis said. Was Liam worried because Louis hadn’t told anyone else about being gay? Because he didn’t have many friends? Maybe that’s why Liam had invited him to dinner… Louis had mentioned wanting to make new friends. “No one needs to worry about me,” Louis added.

Harry looked unconvinced. “Everyone needs someone to worry about them. Just maybe not in such a mothering sort of way as Liam does.” 

Louis chuckled, the tension starting to ease as the conversation roamed into territory he was familiar with. “He does mother a bit, doesn’t he?” 

Harry shook his head good-naturedly. “I left on a business trip a few weeks ago, and Liam gave me snacks for the plane. Said he didn’t want my blood sugar to get too low.”

“Liam gave me a box of scones to take home to my mother for Christmas,” Louis replied. “Said he was worried about my lack-of-baking skills and what kind of son would I be without something to bring my mom?”

Harry laughed out loud at that. “You can’t cook?” 

Louis shook his head with a cheeky grin, feeling more comfortable in his skin now that he could talk about something relatively tame. “Nope. I burned down a kitchen at my university.”

Harry’s eyes went huge. “That poor kitchen.” Harry looked genuinely distressed, more for the kitchen - Louis suspected - then Louis’s safety. 

Louis laughed good-naturedly. “I’m guessing you can cook then.” 

Harry nodded enthusiastically. “I work at a bakery.” Louis humphed. _Of_ _course_ Harry worked at a bakery. 

“Maybe Liam should have given me scones  _ you _ made to take to my mother,” Louis said, “instead of ones he made.” 

“I’ll make sure you have a box of free scones at Christmas,” Harry teased, and Louis couldn’t help but hope that promise held. Christmas was still eight months off, but he already felt at ease around Harry. Like he’d met a friend he didn’t know he’d been missing. 

Louis cleared his throat. “So how did you and Liam meet?” 

“Through Zayn,” Harry said, nodding in Zayn’s direction. “He and Liam got together about a year ago and Zayn and I were roommates. What about you?” 

Louis frowned. “I was with my church group downtown, and Liam is our main contact at the non-profit we help.”

“The food bank, right? That’s awesome.” Harry said with a grin that reached his eyes. “I’m surprised we haven’t met then; I help out once a month.” 

“I only just started,” Louis said. “This is my first time hanging out with Liam outside of the non-profit work. I switched churches a while back…” He trailed off. He didn’t need to share the whole story. 

“Bad experience?” Harry asked after a pause, his voice lacking any judgment or condemnation. Louis couldn’t help but feel Harry wanted to know his answer.

Louis nodded. “I… I came out as gay and the church kicked me out. I found one that’s friendlier towards people like… well, like me.” 

Harry hummed, offering Louis another fry, somehow making Louis feel understood and empathized with, just through the simple gesture of offering him a fry. Louis looked around the club, still loud and bright, but he wondered how many of the other people around him had experienced the same thing.

“That sucks,” Harry said sympathetically. “Shawn also got kicked out for coming out as bi, although he just left the church altogether.” 

Louis sighed. “I’ve considered it. My family would kill me, though.” Not his mother or his sisters. But he couldn’t imagine his aunts or cousins willingly still associating with him. 

“Your happiness is worth more,” Harry said with a slight shake of his head. “Liam taught me that. I only came out a few months ago. I was surprised by who supported me in the end. Liam and Zayn saw me through a lot of it.” 

It was Louis’s turn to hum and he took the pause in their conversation as an opportunity to glance around the table. 

Liam and Zayn were sitting close, Liam’s arm around Zayn’s waist, the two of them talking, their heads close together. Shawn and Niall were laughing about something, Naill’s hand casually resting on Shawn’s thigh. 

Louis looked back at Harry. Harry grinned. It was a welcoming grin, an honest, genuine grin, and Louis felt himself fall just a little bit right then and there. 

It was just the start of what would become the most important relationship in Louis’s life, but Louis wouldn’t know that for a few months. 

Louis still had to wake up the next morning, questioning if his long conversation with Harry, the sheer amount of laughter he’d shared with Liam and his friends, the way he’d felt more seen and welcomed, was real or just a dream. 

Harry texting him that night solidified if. The night had been real after all, and particularly,  _ Harry _ was real. 

Louis didn’t know it then, but that night, and the next morning when he removed the cross from over his door, was the start of his highway to hell… or maybe, after all, it was heaven all along. Either way, he allowed his own inner light to guide him there.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr [here](https://iamasphodelknox.tumblr.com/) and share the Masterpost for the story [here](https://iamasphodelknox.tumblr.com/post/624187481331564544/title-a-light-to-guide-me-home-author) if you like it!


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